This morning I signed in to one of my accounts on a popular BDSM website. I start with the oldest unread message which was sent the night before from a user with the name "Casanova" cleverly inserted in his internet handle. His profile describes him as a Male Dominant in his early twenties. Typically I am instantly put off when a "dominant male" emails me on this site mostly because they are usually very ruse and and start their emails by telling me how they want to use me as their "little slut" or fuck me till I scream to which I reply "Sorry, Im not submissive. I believe my profile states that". In this particular email from "Mr. Casanova" he displays his horrible grammer by gracing me with the question "watchu doin tonight". Note to readers: I hate when people make up their own language when writting me, Im pretty sure "wat" and "chu" are not words in the dictionary even when put together to form one word.
I decided to entertain the idea of a reply but wanted to inform Mr. Casanova right off the bat that any urge to hit on me or be vulgar would not be necessary so I simply typed "Went to the movies with my boyfriend" and then hit the Send button. Not more than 5 minutes later he had already sent a reply. Not I am curious. Not knowing what to expect next I opened the new message to read "your in bdsm and still have a bf? is he in the lifestyle too". I instantly start to think of all the witty, sarcastic and smart ass answers I could think of to put this guy in his place. I am almost offended that he feels someone involved in a "non vanilla" or even remotely kinky side of life is not at all possible to have a relationship. As if being a Dominatrix makes me some freak incapable of being involved in any "normal" activities that other people enjoy in life. I decided not to be too rude but still replied with "believe it or not people in to bdsm can still have relationships like everyone else. He's not into it but at the same time its not my whole life either. I dont eat, sleep and breath bdsm." Clearly this kid is confused on human nature in general.
I'm going to compile emails that I have gotten over time because the amount of ignorant crap in my inbox and idiots that email me is unbelievable. Something the world needs to see.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
A kick in the pants.
Once every two months or so I attend "parties" that are organized and held for Foot Fetishist. The concept is very simple, members that are registered to will be notified via email when each party is confirmed with a date and location and the members can RSVP and pay a small fee if they wish to attend. The parties are thrown in a a large industrial building usually resembling a club on the inside with various sectioned off "privacy areas" which are basically a seating area that is enclosed behind a curtain of some sort. The organizer of the party makes sure to monitor the male to female ratio that is allowed to confirm and secure a spot at the party with the end result usually being 1 female to every 2 males attending. The women that attend are their to offer their feet for one on one mini foot sessions through out the night.
I'm sure most "normal" people aren't even aware that such parties exist. I know I sure didn't before I started attending them. You can imagine I was shocked to see upon attending my first party that I actually knew a lot of the other women their and had been friends with a few of them for years not even knowing they were also working various ends of the fetish scene.
Jennifer Darling is a friend that I met one summer at a poolside foot party. I had bumped in to her on my way to find a designated smoking area and just my luck she was looking for the same. We hit it ff right off the bat and started our search for a comfortable spot to kick our feet up away from the crowd of the party. For hours we sat there talking about anything and everything and from that point on we became foot party buddies.
One night we decide to do a little mini photo shoot at my place before we car pooled to one of the Los Angeles foot parties. Jen showed up a couple hours before the part was suppose to start and we started right away on doing hair and makeup and finding outfits to wear in the photos. Of course we took our time because for the most part we were in no hurry to get to the party. After our mini shoot we head out to LA and of course get lost since this particular party was being held at a new location in an industrial area with shitty one way streets. At this point I am extremely irritated and after finally finding the location and a parking spot I immediately became annoyed with the girls I saw walking in to the venue. I'm not sure why but these girls all seem to have a screw loose in the head and the outdated way they dress just infuriates me even more then having to look at their feet as they walk around in these heels that expose their obviously crooked toes or foot scars that they obviously received from wearing such tacky high heels.
Jen and I contemplate leaving before even entering because at this point it looks like a freak show of people have been entering the building. She talks me in to going in on the conditions that if it seems to be a wasteful night that we can leave before it sucks the life out of our night that had been fun up until we arrive at the party. As soon as we check in and walk into the first room it hits me, I have already decided that I am in no mood to entertain anyone nor do I have the urge to pretend to be amused by any of the conversations that some of the people there would try to start with me. We decide to explore and check out what this new venue has to offer. Its a large building with three levels and sectioned off rooms that resemble rooms you would find in a dungeon. I am now amused.
Jen decides to sit in one of the medical chairs and asks me to snap a picture of her sitting in it with her camera phone. The lighting is shitty so it barely shows up. We move our way to one of the bathrooms. Better lighting. I take her phone and start taking pictures of us in the mirror and sending them to one of our mutual friends. Then a thought hits me, we could be doing this exact same thing at my house in stead of doing it here at the foot party. We then exit the bathroom begin to wonder around aimlessly. After all, we wont get any sessions if we if we are locked away separated from everyone else. As we roam around I spot my friend "Pixie" who had showed up a bit late. I wave her over and greet her with a hug and catch her up to speed with the lack of activity at the party. Jen and I have now been there for an hour and still have not done one single session. I decided to start speaking in a tone above normal conversation levels and it draws attention to us three. A guy walks over and bargains with us in attempts to have all 3 of us trample on him. I take lead as the negotiator and after making a deal we all head over to an area the will be able to accommodate the three of us standing on top this guy. In case you were wondering 10 minutes of holding balance on someones face or stomach feels like an hour.
After the trample session Jen and I decide to go outside to smoke. We are immediately approached buy a strange looking guy wearing bell bottom pants. Just our luck, this is going to be interesting. He starts talking about various fetish parties and his interest and for some reason the only one I am now associating him with is his fondness for Pot. After talking to PotGuy for for about 15 minutes he offers us weed cookies that he baked himself. Why on earth would someone bring that to a fetish party? Now I am really annoyed with this guy. Jen is more passive so she is able to tolerate his pointless conversation. We end the conversation with the usual "nice to meet you" and go back in to the party. We split up for a while and each do a few sessions but continue to text each other while we are apart. We usually do this just to talk about how each session is going and stay connected so that when we decide we are ready to leave we are able to do so without wondering where the other is.
Jen's last session was with PotGuy and seemed to be dragging on forever. I am not amused and now I am feeling overly anxious to leave and go back to my comfortable bed at home since it is about 1am now. Then I get a text from Jen: "I'm done. When you walk up to get me kick this guy in the balls!". Wow, did I really just read that? Sometime I wonder how I get to the point in my life where I receive such random yet delightful texts. Maybe the night wasn't such a waste. Rarely do I get to take my frustration out on someone that irritates me at these parties. For the most part "foot guys" are not submissive in to any other fetishes except for the obvious foot fetish.
So I walk into the lower level session area and spot Jen. As I approach she has an amused look on her face and blurts out again "Kat, kick him in the balls!". I'm a little hesitant since this party is not usually the appropriate place to do such a thing so I look to her and say "Can I?" to which she replies "Of course you can! Don't ask, just do it!". I turn to PotGuy and he is standing in a position with his legs slightly apart so I let loose and kick upwards with his crotch as my target. He flinches and pulls back upon impact and immediately i think to myself "that's what you get for annoying the hell out of me and offering me pot, IDIOT!". He doesn't seem to be phased by the kick but it still felt good to let out some aggression on him either way.
I think I would be much happier in life if I was able to just haul off and kick every guy that annoys me in the balls. None the less it was still the highlight of my less than amusing night. It was almost as as amusing as the time I stuck my foot up some guys ass just because he bored me to the point of almost falling a sleep during the session. My mind thinks of the most random ideas when I get bored.
Be warned!
I'm sure most "normal" people aren't even aware that such parties exist. I know I sure didn't before I started attending them. You can imagine I was shocked to see upon attending my first party that I actually knew a lot of the other women their and had been friends with a few of them for years not even knowing they were also working various ends of the fetish scene.
Jennifer Darling is a friend that I met one summer at a poolside foot party. I had bumped in to her on my way to find a designated smoking area and just my luck she was looking for the same. We hit it ff right off the bat and started our search for a comfortable spot to kick our feet up away from the crowd of the party. For hours we sat there talking about anything and everything and from that point on we became foot party buddies.
One night we decide to do a little mini photo shoot at my place before we car pooled to one of the Los Angeles foot parties. Jen showed up a couple hours before the part was suppose to start and we started right away on doing hair and makeup and finding outfits to wear in the photos. Of course we took our time because for the most part we were in no hurry to get to the party. After our mini shoot we head out to LA and of course get lost since this particular party was being held at a new location in an industrial area with shitty one way streets. At this point I am extremely irritated and after finally finding the location and a parking spot I immediately became annoyed with the girls I saw walking in to the venue. I'm not sure why but these girls all seem to have a screw loose in the head and the outdated way they dress just infuriates me even more then having to look at their feet as they walk around in these heels that expose their obviously crooked toes or foot scars that they obviously received from wearing such tacky high heels.
Jen and I contemplate leaving before even entering because at this point it looks like a freak show of people have been entering the building. She talks me in to going in on the conditions that if it seems to be a wasteful night that we can leave before it sucks the life out of our night that had been fun up until we arrive at the party. As soon as we check in and walk into the first room it hits me, I have already decided that I am in no mood to entertain anyone nor do I have the urge to pretend to be amused by any of the conversations that some of the people there would try to start with me. We decide to explore and check out what this new venue has to offer. Its a large building with three levels and sectioned off rooms that resemble rooms you would find in a dungeon. I am now amused.
Jen decides to sit in one of the medical chairs and asks me to snap a picture of her sitting in it with her camera phone. The lighting is shitty so it barely shows up. We move our way to one of the bathrooms. Better lighting. I take her phone and start taking pictures of us in the mirror and sending them to one of our mutual friends. Then a thought hits me, we could be doing this exact same thing at my house in stead of doing it here at the foot party. We then exit the bathroom begin to wonder around aimlessly. After all, we wont get any sessions if we if we are locked away separated from everyone else. As we roam around I spot my friend "Pixie" who had showed up a bit late. I wave her over and greet her with a hug and catch her up to speed with the lack of activity at the party. Jen and I have now been there for an hour and still have not done one single session. I decided to start speaking in a tone above normal conversation levels and it draws attention to us three. A guy walks over and bargains with us in attempts to have all 3 of us trample on him. I take lead as the negotiator and after making a deal we all head over to an area the will be able to accommodate the three of us standing on top this guy. In case you were wondering 10 minutes of holding balance on someones face or stomach feels like an hour.
After the trample session Jen and I decide to go outside to smoke. We are immediately approached buy a strange looking guy wearing bell bottom pants. Just our luck, this is going to be interesting. He starts talking about various fetish parties and his interest and for some reason the only one I am now associating him with is his fondness for Pot. After talking to PotGuy for for about 15 minutes he offers us weed cookies that he baked himself. Why on earth would someone bring that to a fetish party? Now I am really annoyed with this guy. Jen is more passive so she is able to tolerate his pointless conversation. We end the conversation with the usual "nice to meet you" and go back in to the party. We split up for a while and each do a few sessions but continue to text each other while we are apart. We usually do this just to talk about how each session is going and stay connected so that when we decide we are ready to leave we are able to do so without wondering where the other is.
Jen's last session was with PotGuy and seemed to be dragging on forever. I am not amused and now I am feeling overly anxious to leave and go back to my comfortable bed at home since it is about 1am now. Then I get a text from Jen: "I'm done. When you walk up to get me kick this guy in the balls!". Wow, did I really just read that? Sometime I wonder how I get to the point in my life where I receive such random yet delightful texts. Maybe the night wasn't such a waste. Rarely do I get to take my frustration out on someone that irritates me at these parties. For the most part "foot guys" are not submissive in to any other fetishes except for the obvious foot fetish.
So I walk into the lower level session area and spot Jen. As I approach she has an amused look on her face and blurts out again "Kat, kick him in the balls!". I'm a little hesitant since this party is not usually the appropriate place to do such a thing so I look to her and say "Can I?" to which she replies "Of course you can! Don't ask, just do it!". I turn to PotGuy and he is standing in a position with his legs slightly apart so I let loose and kick upwards with his crotch as my target. He flinches and pulls back upon impact and immediately i think to myself "that's what you get for annoying the hell out of me and offering me pot, IDIOT!". He doesn't seem to be phased by the kick but it still felt good to let out some aggression on him either way.
I think I would be much happier in life if I was able to just haul off and kick every guy that annoys me in the balls. None the less it was still the highlight of my less than amusing night. It was almost as as amusing as the time I stuck my foot up some guys ass just because he bored me to the point of almost falling a sleep during the session. My mind thinks of the most random ideas when I get bored.
Be warned!
Friday, February 20, 2009
The Beginning
As a child I had two goals for what I wanted to do "when I grew up". Some of my friends had dreams of being a Veterinarian or Doctor, others wanted to be a fire fighter or astronaut where as I myself wanted to be a teacher AND a Playboy cover model. Mind you I had decided this at the age of 10. Im not even sure that at such a young age I even fully knew what Playboy magazine was!
What I do know is that for as far back as I can remember I was always very aware of sexuality and probably had thoughts that most little girls wouldn't even be able to conjure up in their naive under developed young little brains. I was fascinated with my mother's "Graphic Novels" that she collected and hide away in her closet which were full of women illustrated wearing thigh high latex looking boots and body suits made of rubber with chains and metal buckles that supported extremely large breasts in these outfits. These graphic novels were fantasy stories of women empowerment and domination but I didnt pick up on that, I just knew I was facinated by these women and something about them excited me a lot (also in a way I did not yet understand).
In my Junior High days I grew up in a very "Melrose Place" style apartment building in Encino California. Above our little two bedroom apartment lived the mother of a very famous "teen heart throb" that had already stared in huge movies like The Goonies, The Lost Boys, ect. (I'll let you figure that one out no need to name names). We also became "family friends" with another drop dead gorgeous woman in the building that had a little girl that became childhood friends with my younger sister. I was convinced her mom had to be a stripper but my mother assured me she worked in an office just like she did. When I turned 16 she finally admitted that our neighbor was not a stripper however she was indeed a very well known "Porn Star". I also found out the my "uncle" who I had grown up with thinking he was just a normal actor was actually a very well known porn star as well. When I say well known Im not just referring to internet or low budget porn but in fact Hall of fame, AVN award, top payed, "household" name porn stars.
As a result the mixture of all this as my surroundings for most of my "development years" lead me down the path that I am currently on today as a young adult. I decided against wanting to be in Playboy as I got older and instead can now be found on various "alternative" adult sites where I am stripping down bare naked in more creative and fun settings. I am also now a full-time "Dominatrix". My typical outfit for "work" resembles the ones I saw those women wearing in the graphic novels that I was so fascinated with. Go figure! I now understand what I had been looking at as a child and why it made me feel those feelings of excitement that I just simply couldnt process yet at that age. And so the journey of kink begins...
What I do know is that for as far back as I can remember I was always very aware of sexuality and probably had thoughts that most little girls wouldn't even be able to conjure up in their naive under developed young little brains. I was fascinated with my mother's "Graphic Novels" that she collected and hide away in her closet which were full of women illustrated wearing thigh high latex looking boots and body suits made of rubber with chains and metal buckles that supported extremely large breasts in these outfits. These graphic novels were fantasy stories of women empowerment and domination but I didnt pick up on that, I just knew I was facinated by these women and something about them excited me a lot (also in a way I did not yet understand).
In my Junior High days I grew up in a very "Melrose Place" style apartment building in Encino California. Above our little two bedroom apartment lived the mother of a very famous "teen heart throb" that had already stared in huge movies like The Goonies, The Lost Boys, ect. (I'll let you figure that one out no need to name names). We also became "family friends" with another drop dead gorgeous woman in the building that had a little girl that became childhood friends with my younger sister. I was convinced her mom had to be a stripper but my mother assured me she worked in an office just like she did. When I turned 16 she finally admitted that our neighbor was not a stripper however she was indeed a very well known "Porn Star". I also found out the my "uncle" who I had grown up with thinking he was just a normal actor was actually a very well known porn star as well. When I say well known Im not just referring to internet or low budget porn but in fact Hall of fame, AVN award, top payed, "household" name porn stars.
As a result the mixture of all this as my surroundings for most of my "development years" lead me down the path that I am currently on today as a young adult. I decided against wanting to be in Playboy as I got older and instead can now be found on various "alternative" adult sites where I am stripping down bare naked in more creative and fun settings. I am also now a full-time "Dominatrix". My typical outfit for "work" resembles the ones I saw those women wearing in the graphic novels that I was so fascinated with. Go figure! I now understand what I had been looking at as a child and why it made me feel those feelings of excitement that I just simply couldnt process yet at that age. And so the journey of kink begins...
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